I went on holidays and had a lovely time but holidays with a baby is quite a learning experience.
I’m home now and determined to get back on track with my fitness and healthy eating. I go back to work next month and I’m also beginning the process of stopping breastfeeding. I’m one of the few people that didn’t lose weight by breastfeeding, not that I did it for that reason. Of course if I didn’t over eat I may well have lost weight!!
So basically my life will be returning next month to what is was like pre baby… well except for there being a baby! 
My point here is not just to talk about my little monkey. What I’m trying to get at is that if other areas of my life are returning to “normal” then I want my eating and exercising to return to normal too and I was getting somewhere way back when. I think.
Back to the title of my post however (this is a slightly wandering post eh!).
I’m starting to worry if my feelings of miserableness and anxiousness are more than just the effects of being a new mama. Of course it’s been 8 months now so perhaps new isn’t appropriate any more? I just can’t seem to relax these days. I obsess about what I should and shouldn’t do. Like stopping breastfeeding for e.g.
I get so annoyed with myself for being lazy and defeatist when it comes to exercise and my eating. I just feel like I’m the person in the room dragging everyone else down. I feel like a big fat pain in the ass.
I don’t feel like this every day but it still seems to happen too often and I have no idea how to fix it.
I’m getting back to some organised exercise tomorrow evening which I hope will help and I’m trying to eat better food too. I’ve been to two hypnotherapy sessions before my holidays which were interesting and positive I think but I’m still not sure how much it can do. Plus it’s bloody expensive so I’m thinking about whether I will go back or not.
Not sure what else to write now. Can’t quite focus my mind. Might head off to band back together to share for the first time… it’s something I wrote a while back…. dunno yet though. It’s not terribly intense or whatever. Might not be interesting to anyone.
Ooh! Ooh! YES! Come join us at Band Back Together!
(P.S. We have lots of resource pages on everything from anxiety to depression and everything in between.)
So, um, yeah. Not to be a total jerk up there (heh)… I know *nothing* about this since I’m not a mom, but is it maybe postpartum depression?
Sending love,
xoxo
I did it! I submitted a post. It’s pending review now.
Hey you don’t need to be a mom to give advice or suggestions! Don’t ever, ever think that. As for the postpartum depression, it has crossed my mind. I don’t feel like I’m “that bad” though. Whatever “that bad” is.
I suppose the question might be how bad do I have to get?
I read some of the posts there, but I’m not sure that I can continue. Strongly empathetic and my heart broke for a few of the people who had posted. Like caught my breath. But, will give it another shot!
I know how you feel. But, you struggled with this before pregnancy, correct? Regardless, PPD can occur up to a year afterwards so you’re still in that time frame. It’s so so hard. I’m dealing with it too (pre-pregnancy depression/anxiety though…and mine is too bad to ignore). If you feel bad, then it’s bad enough to ask for help! You could “just” see a counselor for a few sessions to get some tips!
Hey!! Totally hear you on bbt. Some of the stuff is harrowing.
You know you are so right re me struggling like this pre-preg.
Since writing the post above I’ve actually been feeling much more positive. I think I prob don’t have full on depression just the blues on and off. My brain is my best friend and worst enemy. Sometimes I just sit and wallow in everything and then other days I’m up and at it and getting stuff done and feeling good. I just need to work on the positive inner voice so much!!
Will look into the counsellor idea though,.
Hope you and your little man are doing well!