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Archive for April, 2008

I went to weigh in this week with trepidation. I was sure I would be up. I felt bloated and crappy. I had a few things here and there that I really shouldn’t have had but much to my disbelief and delight I was down! 2 lbs. I’m delighted AND it took me under 14 st which is just brill!

The scary thing is the day of my weigh in I ate like a complete idiot because I had decided in my head that I was going to be up…. so I felt sorry for myself and thought what the hell does it matter. I ate things I haven’t eaten in weeks! Still that’s just one day and if I keep up my exercise it will hopefully counter those bad days I have every now and then.

I have this annoying feeling all the time though that the occasional bad things are going to catch up with me… as if they are stalking me and when I least expect it I’ll have those pounds I lost go right back where they came from. I know this is a negative way to think and I need to change that. I need to give myself credit for doing this and for getting things right most of the time instead of beating myself up for the few times I get it wrong. It’s all part of the journey I suppose.

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So I only had 10 ounces (we’ll call it a pound for the sake of my optimism!) down this week but I had lots of drink and food last weekend so to still be down something is good and it all adds up in the end. Best of all it means I haven’t put on weight! Prob is I’ve not been very good this weekend either but I guess if I could do 5 good days and limit myself to 2 bad and keep up my exercise then that wouldn’t be the worst way to be, assuming I don’t eat twice my weekly allowance of calories in those 2 days which sadly is always a possibility 🙂

I still need to refocus though…. I’m staying away from the main carbs during the week but I have been hitting the Green & Blacks 55% cocoa orange choc bars a bit too hard! I also have 85% ones(not G&B though) and it’s bloody hard to overeat those let me tell you!! I find they are good when I’m longing for something sweet. Two bites and I think God that’s enough of that but I still have had chocolate so can’t feel sorry for myself!

Anyway this week my goal is to stay away from the orange chocolate bars totally – at least until the weekend! Also I need to up my walking as I will be missing one of my exercise classes and they really make a difference!

It’s still Sunday though 😐 still the weekend and many yummy things beckon like pizza and just bread and butter even!!!!!!!!! Must stop now or I’ll drive myself even madder!

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Carbs are evil!

Ok so carbs aren’t exactly evil but they do have some weird effect on my body and cutting them out makes a big difference to me. Last week I had no bread, potatoes, pasta or rice. Tuesday was my worst day but I persisted and I felt slimmer, had more energy, less cravings AND I also lost 2lbs !! Woo hoo. The only downside is I broke out at the weekend and was like a junkie going back on the drugs. However I’m back on the straight and narrow again. Here’s hoping that the weekend madness doesn’t do too much damage to my efforts so far but only time will tell that.

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Whats the fix?

I was thinking last night – shock horror. Anyway I was thinking seen as a huge part of my problem is eating in response to my emotions what do I replace it with ? I know I’m supposed to ‘deal’ with them but that’s easier said than done and therapy isn’t really an option – too damn expensive.

I’ve noticed that many times I’m just uncomfortable when I’m sitting down watching the TV and doing nothing. That’s my really bad time for wanting to eat. If I’m up and about doing housework or whatever food doesn’t seem to cross my mind – not much anyway. So what do I do? Clean non stop ? Maybe I could just get my emotions turned off…. it could be great but I would probably end up being very dull. Skinny but dull. Question is would it be worth it. I’ll have to ponder that one…..

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Off to a decent start.

Well I had my weigh in and I was down 2 lbs which I’m quite happy with. More of course would have been lovely but I’ll take what I can get. It all adds up and they do say if you lose it slowly it’s healthier – I’ll keep telling myself that anyway! 🙂

The best thing is I’m feeling good and also feeling like I can definitely achieve this if I put my mind to it. I’m hoping to start a short detox on Monday to help get my body cleared of toxins etc so that should be a help too.

Plus I have increased my exercise and I think no matter what people say both exercise along with healthy eating is the only way to go. Now I know that’s not exactly rocket science!! It’s good to accept it though.

Of course it is now officially the weekend, a dangerous time indeed, here’s hoping I only make one or two mistakes instead of my usual 50 or so !!!!!

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I bit the bullet last week and re-joined weight-watchers… well it’s not weight-watchers but it’s the equivalent where I am. I lost weight that way before but stopped going a few weeks before christmas as I was getting no-where…. up a pound one week, down a pound the next, up 2 the week after that, all the while paying weekly for the privilege of attending which really pissed me off!! But since I stopped going I have put on another 10/12 lbs so alarms bells were going off.

So back I went, tail between my legs and with misgivings as I sometimes feel counting points makes me think about food more that I want to or should but then on the other hand it also gives me back some control.

I’ve been reasonably good but no where near perfect at the same time. My weigh in is tomorrow and I’ll be happy to be down anything. It’s so hard to stop longing for the quick fix, to drop 20lbs in a week or something…. I know that’s not going to happen but I just want it gone now! Not the right attitude but at least I’m being honest with myself.

I also got the South Beach Diet book recently so I’m going to give that a good read and see what it’s all about etc. before rushing blindly in expecting more miracles. At first glance it seems to make a lot of sense and cuts way back if not out completely, potatoes, pasta and white bread. These 3 amigos of mine do me a hell of a lot of damage but they just taste sooooooooo good!

However something has to give. I’m not happy the way I am and if I want to be happy I will just have to change.

Lights, camera, ACTION!

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