Archive for November, 2008

I am grateful for….

I’ve come across this gratitude lark on other blogs and Steph’s post yesterday over on Back In Skinny Jeans prompted me to dedicate a post to it. That and I’m having a bit of a writing block apart from “ok food day, could be better posts” that seem to have been the standard for a while. I also thought it would do me no harm at all to focus on some of the things in my life that I’m grateful for. In fact I’m sure it will do me the world of good so here goes!

I am grateful for…….

My husband, my parents, my friends, my in-laws, my health, my fitness, my body, my curves, my dog, my home, my job. I’m grateful for the ability to learn and change. I’m grateful that I am open to new ideas and people. I’m grateful for my sense of humour and my sense of empathy. I’m grateful for my organisational skills. I’m grateful for chocolate 🙂

Wow this is harder than I thought it would be. It’s not that I’m not grateful for lots of stuff it’s just hard to put it into words.

I guess in one sentence to try to sum it up I’m grateful for life and all the challenges, failures and successes it brings.

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Keeping the faith

Just a quick post this evening cause I promised myself I’m going to bed early. I’m just so tired today. It’s just been one of those weeks! Anyway I’m working on a “what I’m grateful for’ post for tomorrow evening so hopefully that will be a bit more interesting.

After promising myself I’d go to the gym to day I didn’t. I’m just not in gym form this week at all. I went for a 3 mile walk in the great outdoors instead though and for some reason it really took a lot more out of me than usual…. oh ya I’m wrecked tired today, maybe that’s it?! I really need to give myself a break sometimes!!!

I also weighed in today and was quite pleased to see a 3lb loss. My instincts were obviously right about last weeks 2lb gain being hormonal and to lose another pound as well is just great. I’ve gained more trust in myself this week and that’s not a simple task let me tell you! Onwards and downwards 🙂

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A diet of diet Coke

For the last few days I’ve been drinking diet coke like it’s a cure or something. I don’t know what has come over me. I always like some now and then but lately it has been ridiculous and while I know it’s calorie free I also know it’s not doing my body any good yet still I drink it.

Today was a reasonably good day for food although I’ve been running around like a crazy person all day or at least that’s how it felt. I did fit in a walk but I had intended going to the gym. For some reason the gym has lost appeal this week…. I intend to try again tomorrow!

I read this quote a few days ago and it resonated with me on some level as many quotes tend to so I thought I’d share it here.

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up. ~ Anne Lamot

I’m waiting, watching and working albeit intermittently. Roll on the dawn.

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Fighting myself

Crappy lunch time eating today… crappy, crappy, crappy! I totally gave in to myself. I put up no fight at all! I think that’s the most frustrating thing… realising the only person I’m really hurting/failing is myself. I know it’s just one meal but I’m just very annoyed with myself. How screwed up is it that society makes it easier and cheaper for us to eat crap food than healthy!!?! I know it’s no excuse but still.
Ok time for me to take a big deep breath and let it go. I did go for a great 3 mile walk this evening so at least that’s something positive! Plus breakfast and break-time was good too.

I’m seriously considering hypnotism at this point though…. if I could find some-one reliable and if it didn’t scare me slightly.

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Another weekend over

It seems I have come to a some what unconscious decision not to blog at the weekends. I just haven’t had the time or energy. As I’ve mentioned before time management is an issue of mine so I’m going to leave weekends free from blog writing from here on. It’s the just the way it’s worked out lately so I’m going to go with it. I will try my best to add an entry every day during the week though.

This weekend allowed me to cross a few things off my to do list which ALWAYS feels good. Food and exercise could have been better this weekend but they could have been worse too. Today hopefully marks the start of a low carb week although I did have some potatoes with my lunch but only a small portion. Anyway I think bread is the real problem for me and my body. For some reason (actually probably for hormonal reasons now that I think about it) my low-carb goal went out the window last week and my god does it makes a difference to my body and not in a good way. So this week I’m getting back on track.
I’ve also had no alcohol in November which I’m happy about. Myself and hubby are away next week however so I may indulge then in food and alcohol but I will try my best to be sensible about it and to indulge in moderation if that’s possible.

Emotionally I’m feeling pretty good… I wish there were more items crossed off my to do list but I know I can’t do it all at once and I need to deal with that. In terms of weight loss I did catch myself last night thinking lets just pack it all in until the new year and worry about it in January. I quickly pushed that thought away however because that is just so far away from the right attitude it’s not even funny. I’m getting increasingly worried about Christmas though and the possible damage that I will do. If I could just lose a few pounds before the madness descends it might help offset any gain a little. Anything… just 2 pounds even but 7 would be really nice!!
See I’m getting greedy already! 🙂

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Finding the balance

Today has been an in-between day. I haven’t felt fantastic but I haven’t felt bad either so that’s quite all right with me. I have noticed as this week has progressed that I’m slipping a bit in terms of food… slipping back into habits of old. Not in a huge way but in a way none the less. I’ve also been observing this week that in emotional terms I tend to have either major highs or major lows but in-between, “just normal”, days are the exception rather than the rule. Of course it may be that the major highs and lows are just more memorable too!

I still think I need to work more towards finding balance. I’m a person that needs to feel in control. I love ticking items off lists because it makes me feel in control. When I start to feel like I’m losing that control I get stressed which of course leads to dodgy eating choices and emotional lows and many times a tendency to say to hell with it all… I’ll do nothing instead of doing even one thing to gain some of that control back.

How do I let my need for control go? Should I even try to let it go or should I try to find a better way to manage my time and what needs to be done? I did create my newly organised To Do list on my pc and I have been ticking some items off but it’s not the full solution.

In the the world of weigh-ins I’m showing a 2lb gain this week. I’m doing my best not to let it affect me. I’m pretty sure some of it at least is hormonal and water retention but then I worry that I am making excuses instead of facing facts. I need to learn to trust in myself more. I have been eating bread again this week however and it just cannot be my imagination that I get bloated from it. So bread begone (as much as is realistic) from this moment on!

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Being present

I’m not long back from a great walk. It was in the cold and the dark but it didn’t matter. I really, really enjoyed it. Actually the moon is out so it was brighter than normal. I had my music blaring and I just really paid attention to how much I was enjoying myself and I think I smiled nearly all the way! I had intended on running at lunch time but I chose not to. I just didn’t feel like it. I promised myself via twitter however to walk this evening instead. I also ate some crappy stuff this evening but instead of sitting at home and wallowing in self pity as I can often do I headed out and made the best out of my evening. Today I’m grateful for having good health and the energy and motivation to get out for my walk. I’m also grateful for being aware of how good it felt, of how good I felt doing it. Last but by no means least I’m very, very grateful for having a daft little dog with seemingly endless energy who also motivates me to get my butt moving 🙂

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Quick catch up

Wow, it’s been a crazy few days for me or at least it’s felt that way anyway! I didn’t even have the time to worry that I didn’t have time to write an entry here. I’m feeling good though… I’m still making silly choices as well as good ones but at the same time I’m feeling in the zone if that makes any sense. I got some great exercise in tonight and I plan on a run tomorrow. I’m feeling good about myself today and my god it makes all the difference! Plus I’m making sure to enjoy it…. who knows what pesky hormones lie in wait around the corner!! 🙂

Here’s to life and living it.

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Re-programming the mind

It’s time to start being more positive whether I feel like it or not. Positivity breeds positive results right?!

I need to focus on my goals, see them clearly in my mind and then make it happen. Yet again I need to stop thinking so much and just start doing. With all that in mind I aim to lose one pound this week. I’m starting small. It all adds up in the end. My major goal is to lose weight before Christmas. Any loss will be positive. So this week it will be one pound.

I will exercise and eat healthily. I will stop worrying about what other people think, I will focus on myself and my needs. In difficult or tempting situations I will do my very best to remind myself of what’s really important to me… the chocolate bar/fries/cake etc or a slimmer, healthier, happier body and mind.
I will do my very best to stop putting myself down. I will do my very best to treat myself as I would treat others, to be kind and patient with myself. I am a good person and I can learn to live in a better way.

I want to do this now and not waste any more of the time I have. There is always hope, another chance, a fresh start. I am an intelligent, strong woman. I just need to believe in myself more and be unafraid of what the future holds.
I CAN do this. I know I can and I will.

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I’ve realised my blog has been leaning (leaping full force) much more towards whining and misery lately more so than rainbows, puppies and sunshine!
So I’m aiming to try to change that a little. Not specifically rainbows, puppies and sunshine (though you can never have enough of those) but you get what I mean. The only thing is I’m not quite sure how.

Something sort-of amusing that I noticed today is that as well as myself some other bloggers are dealing with lack of time issues at the moment… (e.g Roni’s Weigh & Pasta Queen). While I don’t wish these issues on anyone else it really is good to know that others feel the same way I do! I suppose, naturally, feeling like you are the only one not coping makes it even harder to cope. So I’ve perked up a little in that regard today having read other’s woes. I also thought how odd and funny it was that we are blogging about it around the same time. Maybe the dark evenings and winter approaching are making these feelings of impossible time management stronger?!

After my 2 mile run today, which nearly killed me!, I started to think about whether running is really going to be a long-term thing for me.
If I’m honest I don’t think I really enjoy it. Yes it’s great to be able to do it especially when I never thought I would be able to. It’s great to run a certain distance, reach a certain goal. Also I’m sure (thinking positively) when I have lost 20 or so pounds it will probably be a hell of a lot easier too. Thing is though I’ll never really have a runners body. For starters my boobs are simply too big. Did you see any big boobs on runners in the Olympics ?! I didn’t. Most of the women looked more like men in that area. I know I’m not trying to be a professional athlete and this doesn’t have to stop me but it does make me think that maybe it’s just not for me. I hear people talking about developing a love of running and I’m don’t know how long it takes but I’m no-where near that happening!

My boxing/aerobics class… now that’s another story. I love it! I must be an aggressive person or something. I really like hitting things. I like my weights class too. I guess I like feeling strong and capable. Running does not invoke those feelings in me.

Hmmmm I’m not really sure if this qualifies as happy uplifting blogging….. if I include some really cute puppy photos will that help!!!!?

Photo Credit

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