Archive for January, 2009

Weekly weigh-in

I’m down 1.4 lbs this week…. not quite reaching my target of 2 lbs for the week but I’ll take it with open arms. Now I have to really start to work hard towards losing my 2 lbs next week. I so badly want to record a loss 2 weeks in a row as I’ve realised that hasn’t happened since I started this blog! It’s just been up and down all the time and while I haven’t gone back to or over my starting weight and that it’s a great sign that I can maintain, right now I want to get on with the losing.

Here’s to a good, healthy, happy weekend!

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Perception versus reality!

Yesterday was a great day for me…. but then around 9.30pm the damn cravings started. It’s weird. I think maybe it was because of tiredness? All I know is I wanted sugar! So I had some goats cheese with wheaten crackers instead. (I’m Crazylady for a reason you know!) I had quite a bit of cheese I have to admit but I figure cheese has to be better for me than chocolate!!? It’s done now anyway so moving on.

Habit pushes me to say today was a disaster but it wasn’t. Lunch was a disaster. A fast-food, nutritionally devoid disaster but I have to remember that’s just one meal. It threatened to be an even bigger disaster as the last morsel descended into my tummy and (as I always do after fast-food) I instantly started to crave sugar. Thankfully the busyness of my day mixed in with a little will power helped me to avoid a chocolate binge and I hope to kick-box as much lunch off my ass as I can later tonight!!! I may also be going to bed at 9.30pm and hiding under the covers from any more unwanted sugar cravings.

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I’m super focused and motivated today. I’m fighting with every inch of my being to keep it that way too. Fighting in a good way I mean, not fighting myself. I had porridge for breakfast, I avoided the break-time temptations by only having enough money on me for a cup of tea, I spent some time cooking at the weekend so that I have healthy, tasty lunchtime options. I exercised, I drank my water. I cheered myself on through the day with positive, affirming statements.

I powerfully intend to lose 2lbs this week. Today it feels like I can take on the world. Sometimes this can be bad because I get a little too positive and a little bit unrealistic and the fall back down can be dizzying. Today I don’t care. I’ll cross that bridge when and if I come to it!

I also came across this quote today and it struck a chord with me…..

Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not. ~ Thomas Huxley (1825-1895, British Biologist, Educator)

I think weight loss is hugely about making yourself do what you have to do, whether you like it or not. Maybe this is a negative way to see it but I don’t think so. Really, truly accepting that we can’t just lose weight by wishing it away or magically increasing our metabolism, that we have to work at it and make sacrifices is a huge step in moving forward and getting closer to our goals.

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To date I’ve had lots of vague goals but today while out for my walk I decided that I needed to get more precise. I need to put a bit more pressure on myself and knuckle down. It must have been the fresh air or something that got me going ! So goal number 1: to lose 10lbs by March 1st. That’s exactly 5 weeks from now. I know it’s a lot but I think it is achievable if I put the work in. That’s the only goal I’m going to concentrate on for now. I’m going to forget about what comes after March, for now it’s not important. I want to be fully focussed on shifting those 10 lbs.

To do this I am going to eat healthily and exercise lots… easy peasy…. I wish!!!!
Seriously though I’m going to cut out the crap as much as possible. I’ve given in to myself way to much this week past. I need to have a little stern chat with myself which goes something like this:

Look at me, look me in the eyes…. you need to get real now. You need to accept that you can say no, it is in your ability but many, many times you choose not to. You can’t eat whatever you want, not if you want to lose those extra pounds, not if you want to feel happier and healthier. It’s not that you can’t have chocolate or biscuits or bread etc ever again but for now to reach your goal you have to make some sacrifices! You just cannot have it all. You cannot eat crap all week and lose weight – no matter how much you exercise!!! You are making a fool out of yourself. The only person you are hurting is yourself. So get your act together and get tough with yourself. You are the only one standing in your way. So move the hell over and get on with your life!!!

Ok, so that’s that. 10lbs in 5 weeks. I need to do this.

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Weekly weigh-in

I have GAINED 2.8lbs this week…. yes I have gained what I lost last week and a little bit more. I am so frustrated though I’m pretty sure I deserve this gain. My eating did go slightly wonky this week plus I was very surprised at my loss last week so maybe it was just an anomaly. Who bloody knows. Whatever the reason I’m very, very, very frustrated but trying hard to get past it and remember that it’s just a number. It’s not the end of the world. I can do this. I am doing this. I might be doing it n quick sand but I’m still doing it.

I just feel if I could gather a little momentum it would help so much instead of this backwards, forwards, nausea invoking to-ing and fro-ing. I don’t even know what else to write about it. I feel flat. Defeated. Exhausted. I know I’ll be fine and get over it. I guess I just have to work through the feelings and come out the other side hopefully stronger even though not necessarily thinner.

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Or should I leave well enough alone !!!

Emotional eating is my problem. I have mentioned it here before and will no doubt mention it again. I know how to eat healthily. I think I eat healthily at least 80% of the time ? Here’s a general sample.

Breakfast: Microwave porridge made with soya milk plus water, mixed frozen berries and flaxseed.
Mid Morning: Maybe a handful of unsalted mixed nuts or a low fat natural yoghurt.
Lunch: At the weekend I try to make a big pot of soup or else a dish with lots of veg plus turkey to which I add some wholegrain pasta (not too much). I then freeze some and bring a portion each day for my lunch.
Mid-afternoon snack: When I remember it’s usually a yoghurt
Dinner: Usually steamed veg with some form of protein – chicken, turkey, beef. I try to make sauces etc myself but if I do buy I get ones that are as healthy as possible. I may add in some wholegrain pasta or brown rice but many times I won’t. Some evenings I will have an omelette instead. (I know I should eat fish but I just can’t stand it).

Night-time snack: Some evenings I won’t have anything.. other evenings I do 😐 It all depends what’s in the house really, whether I’m busy or my mood. I try to have hummus on hand which I have with water crackers or raw carrot and celery. I find it very satisfying and tasty plus it has no additives etc so I figure while it may be a bit high in fat, it’s good fat and there is lots of other good stuff in it too. Lately there have been stray chocolates left over from Christmas but they will be gone soon !! (One way or another).

I also know that exercise is important. Unless I’m sick, the weather is really awful or life events get in the way I generally exercise 4/5 times a week. 1 weights class, 1 kick-boxing class, 1 cardio class plus two or maybe three decent (hilly) walks.

Now the “menu” above usually only applies Monday – Friday. The weekends can go anyway but I do try to be as sensible as possible. I just don’t plan as rigorously as during the week. I stay away from bread as much as possible. I may have it at the weekend when I’m out but I generally don’t have it at home as I can’t control it. One slice is never, ever enough. I rarely have potatoes during the week but may have them in one form or another at the weekend – yes fries being one form !!

My main danger times during the week are my mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks. These are spent with colleagues in the work cafe where scones, fried breakfasts, chips and chocolate etc are all on offer and can be very, very tempting. This is generally also where the emotional eating comes in. I usually succumb to some of these “items” when I am craving, tired or feeling down, frustrated or any number of emotions. Some days I can have complete control, I just have a cup of tea and nothing else. After dinner is another danger time but the hummus does help with that. Plus not having other temptations in the house helps a lot too.

Now I’m under no illusions… I know I have days, weekends and sometimes even weeks where I eat like a mad woman and all my good intentions go out the window. That thankfully is happening less and less. I know when I gain I generally deserve it and when I lose it’s because I’ve put effort in that week.

I still wonder if I could be doing some things better ? If I could be eating a different way to help me build more muscle ? I wonder how I can deal with the emotional eating better ? I know a huge part of my problem is needing to feel in control/organised. When I don’t feel in control many times I end up eating but it’s simply impossible to be in control all the time, even most of the time if I’m honest. How do I let go more?

Thoughts, opinions? How do you do it ?

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Weekly weigh-in

This is going to be quick as I’m just in from my exercise class and after this I’m taking the night off to veg in front of the tv. It has to be done once in a while. 🙂
I stepped on the scales this evening with a little trepidation. On my way home in the car from class I pondered if I should wait until tomorrow evening because I drink lots of water when exercising and surely that will affect things. I remember the sugary products I ate during the week and the drinks I had at the weekend. I then calmly reasoned with myself that no matter what number showed up this evening I was making progress. I remembered the home-made soup and lunches I made and the exercise I’d done. I quite often need to talk sense into myself!

Luckily I did because I’m down 2.6lbs this week. I guess I didn’t give in to my cravings quite as much as I thought plus the exercise will have helped too. So I’m happy but I’m even happier that I didn’t allow myself to avoid the scales for fear of the number. I know I’m getting places no matter what the number.

TV and couch here I come !

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