Archive for January, 2010

A blogland friend is the inspiration for this one. Low self-esteem is most definitely a problem for me so taking the time to find 50 things I like about myself will be challenging but rewarding also I’m sure. I’m really not sure I can make 50 but I guess I’ll just start and see how it goes!

So here are 50 things I like about myself…..

1. My sense of humour
2. My brain
3. My ability to learn about myself and use the information to grow as a person
4. My long eye lashes
5. that my body and my curves are well proportioned
6. My height
7. I’m quite open-minded
8. I’m a loyal and trustworthy friend
9. I’m friendly
10. I’m generous
11. I’m fit
12. I can read very quickly
13. I’m good at spelling
14.I’m good at parallel parking
15. I’m sarcastic
16. I’m good at cooking
17. I’m good at painting (the wall kind not the picture kind!)
18. I’m not afraid to meet new people
19. I’m not afraid to try new things on my own
20. I’m quite independent – same as 19 ?!
21. I’m a hard worker – when I get going!
22. I have great boobs :p
23. I’m empathetic
24. Day by day I’m getting stronger in an emotional and physical way.
25. I’m not a stereotypical female. I feel I should expand on this. Of course there’s nothing wrong with being a girly girl but that’s not me. I get on well with male friends and colleagues (sometimes better than with women) and I don’t get all offended by the way men can talk about things sometimes (and often join in!). I also have no problem with my husband leaving the toilet seat up! Well fair is fair, I don’t put it up after I used it so why should he have to put it down!!? 🙂 That’s not to say of course that I don’t like to get dressed up from time to time, in heels, a nice dress and plenty of make-up!

Phew that was hard so I’m going to leave it at 25 and I will try to do another 25 some day….. the first 25 was a stretch so I really don’t know how I’ll manage the rest! It’s been fun though I have to say. Some things on the list probably seem odd but it’s what I like about me so anything goes right! (that’s me being independent!) 🙂

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Reverting to form?

As January marches on I also continue my efforts to return to healthy eating and regular exercise following the Christmas break. Sickness and bad weather haven’t helped however. It was just a cold but I knew I needed to give myself time to recover from it and that meant cutting out the exercise for a few days at the very least. I did finally make it to a session with my personal trainer and faced the dreaded post-christmas weigh-in! I was 2 lbs up from my last weigh-in which must have been 4/5 week previous and which is quite ok with me. Would I prefer not to gain at all? Of course!!!! Is that realistic? Um…. NO!

My eating has been good and bad this past fortnight. The emotional binge eating part of me has surfaced a lot and I’m not really sure why. Insecurity at work is a big part of it I think, not in a “I might lose my job” kind of way but more in a “I don’t have the skills, intelligence or interest to be here” kind of way. More and more I feel lost there. More and more I also see myself in a harsher way and seem to find little but fault with myself. I guess others always seemed to be the problem before but now I’m wondering if maybe it’s me that’s the problem. I’ve no clue how to fix it though and leaving is just not an option in this economic climate. Plus I have no notion what else I could or would want to do! I feel trapped by the whole situation. Of course eating isn’t going to solve the problem is it! Knowing that doesn’t stop me however. I know too that so many people have no job so I should be very appreciative of mine and I am but I’m also very unhappy in it at the same time.

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Creatures of habit

For all the leaps and bounds I feel I’ve made in the last year towards improving my fitness and embracing healthier eating I still found myself, over the past week, falling into the “I’ll start again on Monday” trap. Now to be fair to myself I didn’t totally stop in the first place. Yes I indulged over the Christmas hols but I didn’t go completely crazy. I also, much more importantly I think, did not feel bad about eating crap. I just went with it and tried to at least make sure I ate the crap that I really like instead of every single piece of crap that was within reach which is what would have happened in previous years.

Yet for all that progress today my brain reverted to “today is your new start, today you must eat perfectly” which lasted till just past lunch time when I dived into some leftover Christmas chocs at work. The guilt then start to creep in and the voice in my head began… “lets just start tomorrow and eat whatever rubbish you want today”. Thankfully I didn’t totally give in to it and I also think that by writing about this here and acknowledging these feelings that I’m dealing with the situation and not letting it develop. I need to be realistic. The food remnants and habits of the holidays will be around for a while yet. Yes I need to get back on track but it’s not an on/off switch. I need to be sensible and kind to myself. I need to focus more on adding the good habits back in rather than trying to instantly erase the bad ones. I need to take it one choice at a time. I need to relax about it all and just let it happen rather than demanding it to happen right now, this minute.

So for starters tonight I will go to bed early, do my stretches before bed and tomorrow I will drink more water and be nice to myself.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy! 🙂

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