Archive for September, 2010

The Monday blues

I’m so, so, so, so tired today. With 8 weeks to go it’s becoming more and more apparent to me that good sleep is a thing of the past and that’s before any baby arrives! For me at least pregnancy and sleeping well are not compatible. If I’m not uncomfortable, tossing and turning then I’m up to the loo every few hours or else I’m awake due to the wonderful sensation of stomach acid creeping up my oesophagus. Often it’s all three. Oh what a pretty picture. Sorry.

So here I am the following day and I feel like a zombie. Do zombies make good mothers? Will I, the baby and my marriage survive the sleeplessness? I think this really is my biggest fear when it comes to bringing this new life into the world. I know my tiredness right now is of course colouring my mood and making everything seem worse and more unmanageable but I’m not being totally unrealistic about this either. I. Do. Not. Function. Well. Without. Good. Sleep.

So to recap. Today I am miserable and no amount of “you’ll feel better tomorrow” or “you’ll be able to cope just fine” or chocolate is going to help me. Sorry to be such a downer but just tellin’ it like it is.

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I’m just about managing to sneak a second post into September. I don’t know why but for me anyway blogging and pregnancy haven’t been very good bedfellows. You’d think it would be the opposite but I guess I have other things to do that take priority like packing my hospital bag!!!!! Once I have those other things done I’m generally tired and after spending all day at a computer at work I just don’t have much desire to go near it at home! That and my husband gets there before me even though he has his own laptop too! I’m giving myself two weeks to try to fix my net book and if I have no joy I’m treating myself to a new one. Bugger it!

OK rant over. 🙂

Pregnancy update!

I am now a full 31 weeks pregnant so 9 weeks to go! We had a scan last week and baby is growing well… possible a little too well as he/she seems a bit on the big side for this stage. I’ve decided that technology can’t be trusted however and I’m ignoring that information. 😐

I’m feeling pretty OK. I’m starting to get more tired as I’m not sleeping very with well what with the frequent loo trips, heartburn and just feeling uncomfortable in bed. I’m also bigger now and so I feel much more cumbersome. Scary to think it’s worse it’s going to get from here on in! All in all though things are good and I feel pretty positive. Baby is moving plenty and we are having lots of fun with that. Essential baby bits and bobs are starting to appear around the house which is nice too if a little bizarre! New born baby clothes are scarily small!! 😐

I’m not sure if I have much more news? Life is pretty quiet at the moment mainly cause I’m not able to do much else. I’m still try to swim and walk a few times a week but the walking is become harder work. I’ve started a pregnancy yoga class too which is nice. I reckon it can’t hurt anyway eh!

Yep, in general life is good. Quiet and tiring but good. Momentous times ahead and I guess I’m trying to relax as much as possible and just take it all in. 🙂

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Life’s ups and downs

So I’m going through my usual work related angst regarding how useless and unnecessary I feel in my job. To be fair it’s partly my own fault and partly bad management/work ethics. I really feel surplus to requirements though and very much out of the loop. I have little or no motivation to improve my skills and now that I’ve only a few months of work left before this baby arrives I’m finding myself more and more despondent as far as work goes. I mean if I’m out of touch now what will I be like when I return after 6 months maternity leave! (yes I know I am VERY lucky to get that kind of maternity leave).

I feel so un-inspired in my job and I know that’s life, not everyone can have a job they love. Hell if the world was my oyster and I could pick any job I wanted I don’t even know what job I would want! I don’t have this burning desire to do x, y or z. As jobs go my job is great – easy going, well-paid, secure, not too far from home etc. It’s just that I also feel like it’s killing me a little inside every day. Now that sounds dramatic but I still kind of believe it. I’m just not fulfilled nor do I believe I ever will be in this job. I lack the confidence and self-esteem to improve myself, to throw myself into new projects or ideas and there aren’t people in the organisation that can or will help with that. It’s just not that kinda place. I guess few places are really and again I should just be happy to have a job.

Ah the joys of real life. 🙂

Anyway enough of that… how about a pregnancy update?! A bit more uplifting perhaps?!

Well I’m almost a full 29 weeks pregnant. 29 weeks!!!! That means only 11 weeks to go!!!! Of course I could go early or late but still! I just can’t believe how quickly the time has flown. I know it will probably seem slower towards the end when I’m bigger and more tired etc. but right now I’m feeling really good. Possibly the best I’ve felt all along. I have a decent amount of energy and no health issues that I am aware of. I have a lot of heartburn but that’s a minor ailment in the grand scheme of things. My bump is growing too though I’m being told that I look very “neat” considering how far along I am. I’m taking this as a sign that I haven’t gone too crazy with food and I’ve kept up my swimming and walking so that’s obviously helped too. I still don’t have a terribly obvious bump. I do have a bump but it’s not as bumpy as some you would see…. 🙂 does that make any sense!? Basically depending on what I wear I can still probably get away with looking like I’ve just gained weight around the middle. You’d definitely wonder if I was pregnant but might not be 100% sure depending on the clothes I have on. I think it’s probably just down to my height, shape and the way I’m carrying. There is most definitely a baby in there though and the kicks and punches are getting stronger! If I leave the tv remote on my tummy it will give a good wobble when the baby kicks. It’s so funny!

So all seems to be progressing well and I’m counting my blessings with how lucky we’ve been so far. Every so often it pops into my head “what if something goes wrong” or “what if there is something wrong with the baby” but I don’t dwell on those thoughts long because I can’t control what will/won’t happen. I still think it’s useful to be aware that things can go wrong and I hope we can deal with whatever might happen as best as we can. Fingers crossed though it will just be all the normal baby worries and stresses that will be occupying our world in 11 weeks time! ELEVEN WEEKS !!!!!! I think I need to lie down now. 🙂

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