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Archive for February, 2011

So as I mentioned last week I need to get my groove back when it comes to my health and fitness. There is huge temptation to go to that “start again” and “diet” mentality. Every so often I think “right, that’s it, no more chocolate” but of course I know that’s a recipe for disaster. If I cut out chocolate completely I will just want it all the more!

Really I just need to remind my body and mind of how I felt before. My scale is still in the attic and that’s where it shall stay. We have a much better relationship that way! However I still need to face up to however much I’ve gained and believe me – gained I have! I have a rough idea but I really feel if I don’t own up and see the number I will stick my head in the sand and pretend it’s not as bad as it is. In saying that I don’t want to start obsessing about numbers either! So my plan is to weigh myself on the Wii Fit – I’m thinking once a month. I don’t think I will use it the same as a scales and start hopping up on it every morning to see what number is. What if I do? Well I’m hoping that if I go to the bother of turning it on etc then I will do some exercise on it while I’m there! In fact I make a promise now to do so. My aim is to work on my fitness gradually and I think the Wii Fit can be a part of that. It’s not exactly hardcore but I’m far, far away from hardcore exercise these days. I just need to start moving first and worry about hardcore later!

For starters so my fitness goals are to go for an easy swim twice weekly and try to walk a little every week day. I will also use the Wii Fit but I still need to decide how often etc. I’m also starting a post pregnancy pilates class in March so that will help too.

As for food well I think to start with I need to cut back on the junk and have plenty of healthy alternatives/substitutes available for myself and my husband (Christmas wasn’t kind to him either!). I need to start being honest with myself and acknowledge when I’m using food for emotional reasons even if I don’t stop doing it straight away.

Regarding the number! Well that’s tricky. I don’t want to get hung up on the number but like I said I need to own where I am now too. I also need to accept that I’m not happy in my own skin these days. I’m flabby, lethargic and basically slowed down in many, many ways. Sure I just had a baby but I can’t lay all the blame there. My diet has been pretty lousy for the last 3 months and that’s since the baby arrived. Yes I’ve been tired and stressed but it’s time to accept that eating crap won’t make those things better long term even if they did kinda make me feel better short term. So basically losing some weight will make me healthier and being healthier will make me feel better in many ways. I’m going to start slow and no matter what number my Wii Fit shows me my starting goal will be to lose 7 pounds but I’m not going to put a time frame on it. Too much pressure never helps!

I’ll post my initial weight here once I know what it is! I’ll also let you know WHEN I reach my 7lb loss and of course what I’m doing to get there and how it’s all going.

Now I need to remind myself of my main motivations for all of this. I want to be fit and healthy for my daughter, my husband and most importantly of all… for me. Health body, healthy mind. Better life!

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I’m back!!!!!

I finally have my new laptop and so I feel regular blogging is possible again. Hopefully I haven’t jinxed it by writing that! Also by regular I mean probably once a week. I’ll be pretty happy if I can even manage that much.

So as you know from my last post my little one has arrived and will be three months old very soon. THREE MONTHS!!! It’s hard to believe. She has started smiling at us which is amazing and makes all the hard work very much worthwhile. In saying that she is quite a contented little girl so she isn’t nearly as much work as she could be. I have to say I wasn’t one of these mothers that bonded with her the second I met her. For one thing for a few minutes after she was born she wailed like a monster! My husband and I looked at each other in horror both thinking oh crap is that what life is going to be like form now on!? Thankfully she calmed down and got over the fright of coming into the world. Even then I didn’t feel that burst of love that I thought I should. I didn’t hate her or anything!! I thought she was amazing. I thought the whole thing was amazing. I guess I was just tired, emotional, stressed and in a way didn’t have time to feel much at all apart from feeling worried (terrified) that I was doing everything wrong. I guess that was how my love for her presented itself in the early days/weeks. In motherly obsession.

Now though there are times when my heart almost bursts when I look at her or even just think about her. It happened gradually. It’s hard to explain and for me, it’s even hard to comprehend but I guess I don’t need to understand it. There are still very hard days and I still worry that I’m doing everything wrong but I’m getting better at it all. I’m also slowly learning to go easier on myself and to stop comparing myself and my daughter to other mothers and their children!

So why am I back blogging again? Well for one thing I think it helps me organise my thoughts and feelings. It helps me to get things out of my head and then they are often much easier to understand or put into perspective.

I also need to blog for the very same reason I started in the first place. To be accountable for my weight, my health, my eating habits. I’ve slipped back into the old me. It horrifies me to write that I’ve probably gained more weight since I had my daughter than when I was pregnant with her! Christmas along with the exhaustion and the stress of caring for a newborn led me to eat like a fool. Oh and so much for breastfeeding melting the weight off!!! Though I guess it might if I ate like a normal person. So I need to regroup and refocus. I need to define my strategy for getting back on track. I know it will take time. I know I need to focus on being healthy. I know depriving myself is a recipe for disaster. I know that exercise must be part of my life no matter what. I know that I want to have a wholesome and stress free relationship with food for my sake, my husbands sake and especially my daughters sake. How I am going to do all this I’m not sure yet but I know I was well on the way before and so I know I can get back there again. So here I go in seach of me yet again. I’m hoping you can join me on my journey and maybe once in a while give me some help too!
Travelling with friends is always much more fun!!!

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