Archive for the ‘goals’ Category

To date I’ve had lots of vague goals but today while out for my walk I decided that I needed to get more precise. I need to put a bit more pressure on myself and knuckle down. It must have been the fresh air or something that got me going ! So goal number 1: to lose 10lbs by March 1st. That’s exactly 5 weeks from now. I know it’s a lot but I think it is achievable if I put the work in. That’s the only goal I’m going to concentrate on for now. I’m going to forget about what comes after March, for now it’s not important. I want to be fully focussed on shifting those 10 lbs.

To do this I am going to eat healthily and exercise lots… easy peasy…. I wish!!!!
Seriously though I’m going to cut out the crap as much as possible. I’ve given in to myself way to much this week past. I need to have a little stern chat with myself which goes something like this:

Look at me, look me in the eyes…. you need to get real now. You need to accept that you can say no, it is in your ability but many, many times you choose not to. You can’t eat whatever you want, not if you want to lose those extra pounds, not if you want to feel happier and healthier. It’s not that you can’t have chocolate or biscuits or bread etc ever again but for now to reach your goal you have to make some sacrifices! You just cannot have it all. You cannot eat crap all week and lose weight – no matter how much you exercise!!! You are making a fool out of yourself. The only person you are hurting is yourself. So get your act together and get tough with yourself. You are the only one standing in your way. So move the hell over and get on with your life!!!

Ok, so that’s that. 10lbs in 5 weeks. I need to do this.

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Re-programming the mind

It’s time to start being more positive whether I feel like it or not. Positivity breeds positive results right?!

I need to focus on my goals, see them clearly in my mind and then make it happen. Yet again I need to stop thinking so much and just start doing. With all that in mind I aim to lose one pound this week. I’m starting small. It all adds up in the end. My major goal is to lose weight before Christmas. Any loss will be positive. So this week it will be one pound.

I will exercise and eat healthily. I will stop worrying about what other people think, I will focus on myself and my needs. In difficult or tempting situations I will do my very best to remind myself of what’s really important to me… the chocolate bar/fries/cake etc or a slimmer, healthier, happier body and mind.
I will do my very best to stop putting myself down. I will do my very best to treat myself as I would treat others, to be kind and patient with myself. I am a good person and I can learn to live in a better way.

I want to do this now and not waste any more of the time I have. There is always hope, another chance, a fresh start. I am an intelligent, strong woman. I just need to believe in myself more and be unafraid of what the future holds.
I CAN do this. I know I can and I will.

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Happy days.

I am so happy with myself. I ran that 7km charity race today and managed to run (ok yes, jog slowly) it all! Well I did stop to walk for about 3o seconds but I’m damned if that counts. 🙂
I did it in under an hour which probably is terribly slow but that wasn’t my aim. I just wanted to do it and finish it – alive. I’m really delighted! I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to keep running for the full distance and that would have been ok too. It was damn hot and there were some little hills (grrrrrr) but I battled on, red faced and got to the finish line. Goal accomplished. Sweet.

Food has been ok for the last few days… not perfect but not terrible either and surely 7km will knock some blobs of fat off somewhere?! I kinda don’t care whether it does or not….. I did it!!!!!!!

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The formula for success!?

Christine rightly asked me, in a comment on my last post, how I am going to achieve my mini-goal of losing 5 lbs by the end of October. I’ve been thinking hard on this one and haven’t entirely settled on a plan. This is probably because whenever I have a very defined plan all goes swimmingly until life gets in the way – husband, family, friends, colleagues, emotions, hormones, unexpected events etc. As a result I’m wary of setting too rigid a plan because if I do and then I stray from it at all I am much too hard on myself and end up down in the dumps. Then because I am an emotional eater, I end up using food to medicate the situation.

On the other hand part of me wonders is that just a stupid excuse to avoid sticking to a set plan. I’m trying to go with my gut here (no pun intended) and my gut tells me that if I say an outright no to sugar/bread/chocolate etc for a month then the first thing I will want is those things. I know it’s not rocket science but it’s good to acknowledge it fully.

So what is my sort-of-plan?

  • Well for starters I need to keep up the exercise. I don’t see that being a problem. I’ve been doing well up to now so I aim to do more of the same plus I’m trying out a new weekly exercise class that incorporates weights which I hope will help me build strength and tone up. I also want to keep up the running and my goal there is that in a month or two I’ll be able to run 2/3 miles reasonably comfortably.
  • I want to keep up my water intake during the week but improve it at the weekend. I’m hoping this will help me avoid bloating somewhat though I know food has an impact on that too of course.
  • In terms of food I want moderation, portion control and unprocessed foods to be the key. I can’t say I won’t eat chocolate or processed foods at all but I want fruit, veg, low fat dairy, protein and wholegrain carbs to be the mainstay of my meals. I need my weekends to be better planned when it comes to food and I need to have plenty of healthy alternatives to munch on.
  • I’m considering giving up alcohol completely for the month but that might be unrealistic. Plus I’ve found a low cal alcoholic drink made with sweeteners that is a compromise in that regard. I know artificial sweeteners aren’t the best for me but I can’t win the war in one go. I need to choose my battles.
  • My biggest battle however is with my emotional eating, being aware of it and then stopping it. I find this so difficult. Food seems to be my answer to every emotion – when I’m happy, sad, angry, bored, tired etc, etc, etc I want to eat. I’ve even started to notice that I seem to have trouble staying/sitting still…. I need to fidget for whatever reason and I think food sometimes is part of that, it’s something to do. So I need to find a substitute in that situation. Maybe herbal teas, water, raw veggies?
  • I’m also considering keeping a food diary again – not counting calories or points or anything but just recording what I am eating, roughly how much and when. My problem with food journaling is that it can cause me to obsess more than ever about food and that’s something I’m trying to get away from. On the other hand it has also worked for me before but that was when using it in conjunction with WW points. When I bring points into it though the obsession is never far away. It’s hard to know what to do. I want to do what’s right for me. I think one way a food diary could help is just by allowing me to be totally honest about what I am eating. As well as sometimes thinking I’m eating better than I am I also have a tendency to think I’m eating worse than I am – like if I have some chocolate during an otherwise excellent eating day I would almost write the day off as a failure. Nuts I know!
  • Another idea floating in my brain is to change from weighing weekly to once a month. I dunno about this one though. It could go VERY wrong. I’m capable of doing a lot of damage in a month. I know the scale shouldn’t be the main focus but I need to monitor how I’m doing all the same. I’ve been taking measurements too so I can get a fuller picture of any progress I’m making and not rely totally on the numbers. I also know that feeling fit and healthy is just as important as any number on the scale.

Gosh, I didn’t intend for this post to be so long! It’s probably obvious that I’m still establishing my ‘plan’. It will probably be ever-evolving. I think though if I can hit some of the points listed here and I don’t go food crazy over the next month I can definitely achieve my mini-goal.

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Having matured a lot through my weight loss experiences I now firmly believe that my number one goal when it comes to my body size is maintenance even though I am still overweight. On reflection I’ll add self-acceptance/love to that too.

Years back when trying to lose weight and when I was much lighter than I am now my magic number to get to was 9 stone (126 lbs). I was that in my teens when I was active and didn’t sit on my ass most of the day for work!! I must have been nuts to even consider it. As life went on, as weight came off and went on again, my feelings about myself changed and 11 stone became the magic number, then 11 and a half. Now that I am hovering around the 14 stone mark my perspective changes yet again.

I try to remember a point not too long ago where I felt comfortable in my clothes and generally felt good about myself. I’m normally not very keen on photos of myself (like most people) but there is one from about 2 years back that I can look at and think “hmmm, looking pretty good!”. It doesn’t make me cringe for a second – it makes me feel good. I do remember I held my tummy in a little bit for that photo but it wasn’t hard work to do that so it can’t have been that big! At that point I was around the 12 and a half stone mark.
So I’ve pretty much made that my goal for my weight loss this time. This being the last time because as I said my real priority is maintenance.

More than anything I don’t want to put on any more weight – ever. I think if someone could grant me the ability to never put on another ounce of weight but the catch was that I would never lose another ounce either I’d jump at the chance. The thought only came to me the other day and I found it so interesting that even being unhappy with my body now I would gladly stick where I am right now if it meant never gaining again. I don’t want to get any bigger or any unhealthier.

No, I’m not overjoyed with my body shape right now but then I wasn’t when I was 11 stone, or 12 or 13. Looking back at me now, at those weights, I have more perspective and I know I looked good. I know that my body today isn’t too bad either. I have a good overall shape, curves in all the right places (even if there are a few extra!) and if I wear the right clothes (ones that fit properly!) I can look damn good. So being able to stick where I am wouldn’t be too bad a prospect.

I don’t have a fairy godmother however to grant me that wish. That’s ok though. Thus being a person living in the real world I’d love to get to 12 and a half stone but more than that I want to maintain that weight when I get there. Yes WHEN I get there.
It’s an achievable goal and I think a good weight for me. I am 5ft 7 and of medium build. BMI wise that weight would still put me in the overweight category but then BMI is a load of balls if you ask me!

Having started this post with how much I’ve matured I’m still aware that I have lots more maturing to do. Learning to be happy with my body is part of that. Learning to like me. I’m on the journey though and every day is a step closer. Even the days that don’t feel like it.

Maybe you ask why not stop trying to lose weight then? Well for one thing I’m conscious of my health. I know I’m not obscenely overweight but my energy levels, moods etc are most definitely affected by being the weight I am. 1 stone weighs a lot! Try lifting it or carrying it around in a backpack for the day. Just being 1 stone and a half lighter will make a difference to my body. I know. I’ve been that weight before. Ironically I think I’m somewhat fitter now than I was then so I’ll feel even better this time around !!

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