Archive for the ‘pms’ Category

Coming to the surface

I seem to be constantly on here whining about hormonal woes so much so I feel like I just need to just shut up about it. However the more I’m experiencing the more I’m realising how much it is affecting me, my life and the people around me. So I just want to get it out and be honest about it I suppose.

I’m convinced I was suffering from hormonal depression last week… I don’t know if it even exists but if not I’ve just invented it ok. Life for me last week was horrible. I was in a foul, foul mood. Everything was irritating. Life seemed pointless. I was tired, grumpy, angry, sad and a hundred other emotions rolled into one. I even had a week of bad hair days for Gods sake!! My poor husband took the brunt of it… I think we barely had a proper conversation for 3 or 4 days. I knew it was happening but I felt powerless to change it. Plus he doesn’t seem to approach me the right way either… whatever that is. Asking me “are you cheered up yet?” doesn’t tend to help me feel better!! He also seemed to be pissed off with me for it which I can understand to a certain degree but that just makes me feel even more broken and down.

I know I can be negative and this doesn’t help. I’m sure I just gave in to the feelings and didn’t fight hard enough to be positive. Basically I wallowed in it. I didn’t feel like I had any fight in me though. Of course, as per usual, it dawned on me towards the end of the ordeal that the cause was most likely pms.. just earlier than expected. Last week, I felt like I was sinking further and further into a deep dark hole. Over the last few days the light above seems to be getting brighter. Today I know I’m climbing out of that hole and I feel like I can take on life again. Of course this is accompanied by lots of hormonal acne, very tender breasts and the arrival of my period but I suppose I can’t expect to have it all my way at the same time right….?

So today I’m feeling good…. I’m feeling back in control. I’m feeling positive. I’m researching ways to combat the hormones and the acne. I’ve started taking Evening Primrose Oil supplements and I’m contemplating trying a fish oil supplement too because I don’t eat fish and I know it has important benefits. Roni posted an interesting link to a theory about why pms can get worse with age and I’m wondering if that is what is happening to me? I don’t ever remember things being this bad until the last few months

Ok that’s enough of the hormone bashing for me. I’ve let it out and let it go (for this month anyway). I really am in a much better place today and I’m looking forward to a good, productive, positive week.

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Official weigh in yesterday (Thurs) – up a pound.
Eating on Weds night & most of Thurs – pretty crap. Fries! Bread! Ice-cream!
Think it’s partly down to pms but who knows any more.

What’s really frustrating is that since last week’s weigh-in I have walked 3 miles on Sat, Sun, Mon & Weds. They weren’t lazy strolls either. On Tues I did 30 mins of a muscle, yoga and step work out using my Wii Fit board which gave me sore abs for the last 2 days so I must have put some effort in. And yet here I am again up a pound. Now I know it’s only a pound. I also know/think because I went heavy on the carbs over the last couple of days (the crappier ones at that) that I’m probably retaining water and that accounts for some of the gain. Or is that just an excuse ? Did I just over-eat and reap the ‘rewards’.
I know I need to move on and not let it get me down. I know it has happened before and I have gotten over it. I know it will happen again. But right now in this moment I feel really, really pissed off and I guess I need to be honest about that too. I want to eat all the wrong things today and make a pig out of myself. I want to give in, give up and give out.

Deep, deep breath.

Yesterday through MizFit’s blog I was introduced to another blog Emotions for Engineers which I found really interesting. This post in particular intrigued me (but I will need to read it another 10 times at least to take it all in). I really think I need to better understand how the body works when it comes to food & exercise. On the other hand I don’t want to obsess about it either and become overwhelmed.

So today as my post title suggests I feel like I’m on a Merry-Go-Round, going round and round and round and round. I keep trying to jump off and a few times I’ve thought I’ve made it but alas no. I’m still there getting dizzier and more nauseous. Will I ever get off?

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Official weigh-in

Yesterday after 2 weeks spent mainly sitting on my ass, making some good and bad food choices I went in trepidation to my official weigh in. Low and behold I was actually down a few ounces !!!!!
So technically I’m the same – either way I’m thrilled and a teeny bit bemused. I’m not sure I totally deserve it and I really hope it doesn’t catch up with me next week but fingers crossed I’ve got my groove back 🙂

I have to be honest and say my eating didn’t feel out of control the last few weeks. I had some moments where I wasn’t in control but I didn’t let it turn into the usual ‘well I’ve screwed up now so I may as well eat everything that’s in the house’. It also shows me that I can maintain my weight and still have some of the things I like – just in moderation.

But back to reality, I still need to knock off a stone and a half. I should be able to get back to my exercise more and more as the weeks go by and that will help. I do need to find some way to remind myself of my hormones when I get into that week of insane craving and eating and loss of control. I always remember afterwards – oh ya it was pms but at the time I feel like I’m back at square one and have lost everything I’ve learned. Oh men just don’t know what they’re missing !!! 😐

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