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Archive for the ‘small changes’ Category

2013. Wow when did that happen?! Oh ok 25 days ago but you know what I mean right? Time seems to be flying by and I’m not sure how much progress I am making.

In ways I am making loads of progress but the old issues still haunt me. I’m still fat to put it plainly. Fat and pretty unfit. Fatter than I’ve ever been in fact and while I know I am much more than a number on the scale it still bugs the hell out of me. This need for things to change but an inability or unwillingness to actually do anything about it must be the most infuriating thing ever!!!

Therapy is going well. It has made me realise how crazily hard I am on myself in almost every way. It’s also making me accept that change for me needs to be in very small steps or else I get overwhelmed and give up. I want everything to be fixed/better right now. Yesterday in fact. Instead I need to appreciate the teeny, tiny victories I make every day and I do make them but that negative voice inside says “no, not good enough!” It’s time to turn the volume down on that voice but it won’t happen overnight and that’s ok too.

So maybe I’m back blogging. Maybe I’m not. For once I’m making no promises or commitments. Whatever will be will be.

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So I forgot to mention (until now) a small change that I made this week which I think, no which I know has made a difference.

At work we have two tea breaks, morning & evening, which are generally spent in the canteen. The dreaded canteen is full of food that I just don’t need to be eating, at least not while trying to lose weight and not on a regular basis ever.
Fried breakfast stuff, bread, scones, pastries, chocolate, crisps, ice-cream and the like. It’s not even like the food is that tasty but my resolve tends to fade once I walk in the door and get the smells. Especially when everyone around me seems to be tucking into something that I imagine will taste great but in reality won’t and will sit in a lump in my stomach for the day (tend not to remember that one till after I’ve eaten!).

So this week for break times I’ve only been taking enough money with me to get a drink! It has worked too. I haven’t had any food at any break this week! Of course there are ways around this like borrowing some money from work colleagues so I know my good attitude this week has also helped. I also try to ensure that I’m not hungry if break time is approaching so I have a piece of fruit on hand to combat this and a good breakfast to keep the hunger at bay for a decent length throughout the morning.

My mental attitude has been really good this week though. Funny how that happens. Today I’m battling (but winning I think) with the “It’s Friday and I lost 4 lbs this week so I can eat what I want today and for the weekend” feeling!! Never ending eh.

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