Archive for the ‘small steps’ Category

2013. Wow when did that happen?! Oh ok 25 days ago but you know what I mean right? Time seems to be flying by and I’m not sure how much progress I am making.

In ways I am making loads of progress but the old issues still haunt me. I’m still fat to put it plainly. Fat and pretty unfit. Fatter than I’ve ever been in fact and while I know I am much more than a number on the scale it still bugs the hell out of me. This need for things to change but an inability or unwillingness to actually do anything about it must be the most infuriating thing ever!!!

Therapy is going well. It has made me realise how crazily hard I am on myself in almost every way. It’s also making me accept that change for me needs to be in very small steps or else I get overwhelmed and give up. I want everything to be fixed/better right now. Yesterday in fact. Instead I need to appreciate the teeny, tiny victories I make every day and I do make them but that negative voice inside says “no, not good enough!” It’s time to turn the volume down on that voice but it won’t happen overnight and that’s ok too.

So maybe I’m back blogging. Maybe I’m not. For once I’m making no promises or commitments. Whatever will be will be.


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Thursday Troubles

So today is my official weigh-in day… to be done at home from here on in. 

How terrifying. 
My weigh-in was always in the evening so I will stick to that. I will wear the same clothes as I always do. My scales isn’t as fancy as weight watchers but what it has displayed up to now hasn’t been far off so it seems ok to stick with it. It doesn’t show ounces but I can live with that. Who wants to know how near to the next pound up they are !!

On to the soul result revealing……. it’s been two weeks since my last official weigh-in and it seems I have gained a pound. That’s ok. I might not have over-eaten too much at the weekend but what I did it eat generally wasn’t what you would call healthy and then there was the alcohol. So 1 lb up is quite ok with me.
Right now I’m feeling in control. I’m not killing myself about what I’m eating but I am trying to eat as healthily and naturally as possible. I’m trying to eat more protein and stay far away from the bad carbs. I feel like I’m eating more which is probably a good thing as it’s the right stuff. My water intake has been excellent. My exercise hasn’t been bad either and will improve even more next week. 
So my goal for next week is to lose just 1 lb. Small baby steps, that will do me just fine.

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So I only had 10 ounces (we’ll call it a pound for the sake of my optimism!) down this week but I had lots of drink and food last weekend so to still be down something is good and it all adds up in the end. Best of all it means I haven’t put on weight! Prob is I’ve not been very good this weekend either but I guess if I could do 5 good days and limit myself to 2 bad and keep up my exercise then that wouldn’t be the worst way to be, assuming I don’t eat twice my weekly allowance of calories in those 2 days which sadly is always a possibility 🙂

I still need to refocus though…. I’m staying away from the main carbs during the week but I have been hitting the Green & Blacks 55% cocoa orange choc bars a bit too hard! I also have 85% ones(not G&B though) and it’s bloody hard to overeat those let me tell you!! I find they are good when I’m longing for something sweet. Two bites and I think God that’s enough of that but I still have had chocolate so can’t feel sorry for myself!

Anyway this week my goal is to stay away from the orange chocolate bars totally – at least until the weekend! Also I need to up my walking as I will be missing one of my exercise classes and they really make a difference!

It’s still Sunday though 😐 still the weekend and many yummy things beckon like pizza and just bread and butter even!!!!!!!!! Must stop now or I’ll drive myself even madder!

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